


Coffee

by LemonBubble



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-23
Updated: 2011-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-22 23:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonBubble/pseuds/LemonBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itchy runs out of coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> A random plot generator told me to take away the most important thing in a character's life. I thought of Itchy and coffee and you get this.

Itchy woke up in the morning. God fucking dammit, he hated waking up. He hated mornings. He hated having to sleep, it was such a waste of time. He hated everything right now. Everything except coffee. Dear sweet coffee, it was the only reason to get out of bed in the morning. Itchy grumbled and made his way to the kitchen, ready to unleash a tirade of insults at anyone who dared to be cheerful at him. No one does. They all knew morning Itchy was worse than any-other-time-of-day Itchy.

Kitchen. Only Clover was in here at the moment. Coffee machine. Itchy moved without thinking, automatically turning on the machine, sticking the filter in, reaching for the jar of instant coffee. Fuck quality, he just wanted his caffeine fix. He tipped up the whole jar and held it there for a while before he realised it was empty. Itchy held it up to his face, staring at the lack of coffee. He suddenly woke up properly.

“FUCK!” he shouted, throwing the empty jar across the kitchen where it smashes beautifully against the wall. He slowed time down to watch it shatter before he sped out of the kitchen, a green and yellow blur, practically knocking Crowbar over on the way out.

“What the fuck Itchy!” he yelled, but the bastard was gone off somewhere. Crowbar kept going and glanced around the kitchen. Coffee machine, off. Glass smashed against opposite wall. He sighed. It was pretty obvious what had happened. “We're out of coffee aren't we.” It was more a statement than a question.

“Yep.” Clover replied cheerfully, carrying on like nothing had happened.

“God dammit, he's so difficult when we're out of coffee. Fucking idiot.” And it's fucking hard to track him down too since he won't keep still. First he needed Fin to find out where Itchy would be, then he needed his crowbar and then he needed to wait.

“Thould be right about... now.” Fin said. Crowbar stuck his crowbar out and Itchy ran right into it, both winding him and disabling his speedy thing for a while.

“What the fuck was that for?!” Itchy yelled, picking himself and brushing himself off. “I'm in the middle of a fucking crisis god dammit!”

“Itchy you ran out of coffee. That's not a crisis.” Crowbar said flatly.

“How the fuck is that not a crisis? Look! Look at my hand!” Itchy held out his hand for inspection. “Steady as a fucking rock! That doesn't happen when I have my goddamn coffee!” he kept shouting.

“Itchy. Itchy!” Crowbar yelled. “Calm the fuck down, we run out of coffee every week. Just go to the store and get some more, Christ do I have to tell you to do even that? Even better, why don't you get a whole lot a coffee so it'll last longer than a week. Fuck why do I have to do all the thinking around here?” He knew from experience that Itchy wouldn't get his own coffee and if he did he wouldn't get more than one jar because everything was fucking ones with him. “You know what? Fin, you go get the fucking coffee since this asshole's too stupid to do it on his own.”

And soon there would be coffee and no one would have to deal with this shit until the next time they ran out because Itchy did it every fucking time.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. So. I wrote this at midnight just so I would have written something and... well, I think it's pretty shitty.  
>  ~~Pretty sure I changed tense in there somewhere but I can't be bothered fixing it.~~  
>  Yep. :|
> 
> Edited it up a bit. It's still stupid, but it's _consistently_ stupid now.


End file.
